We're Not All Egomaniacs: Adapting the Twelve Steps for Alcoholics with Low Self-Esteem

Some people come to Alcoholics Anonymous feeling terrible about themselves and are told, bewilderingly, that their problem is too much ego and a lack of humility. Bill W., who wrote most of the AA literature, described himself as an egomaniac. He put his own needs and wants ahead of others, was grandiose, felt entitled, and thought he was all-powerful. He called this the alcoholic personality type, and designed a program to crush the ego as the foundation of sobriety. It worked for him and millions of other alcoholics like him, and he deserves great credit. But what about alcoholics who normally put others' needs before their own and see themselves as less-than, unentitled, not enough, defective, impostors, losers? Their egos need building, not deflating. This book reframes the Twelve Step program so people with low self-esteem can grow to feel better rather than worse about themselves. Each Step includes exercises to build and strengthen the person's sense of self, to grow from a place of feeling unlovable into a strong sober person, no longer dependent on alcohol or external validation to feel good.This groundbreaking book opens the door for people who feel less-than to find a comfortable sobriety in AA, rather than trying to force themselves into Bill's shoes when they just don't fit.